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WHAT'S THE USE-BY DATE ON THESE THINGS?

 

What do you mean, does my bum look big in these? Your bum is hanging out of the things! What do you mean, does my bum look big in these? Your bum is hanging out of the things!

We have released the 2014 version of our key product, the Dobies mountain bike shorts.

They are made in New Zealand. They are the best representation of our design we have managed to muster thus far, the quality of the manufacturing is really good.

When we have talked to people about our products, we often get a comment along the lines of “your product only has one problem - we can’t wear it out”. That is what we try for, because we believe in making things that are multifunctional, and last a long time.

There is a problem with that approach. Most people only need a couple of pairs of mountain bike shorts. If they buy two or three from us, they have themselves covered for the foreseeable future.

There is also something about Nzo that seems to appeal to people who like to flog a pair of shorts into oblivion, which takes as long as 15 years in some cases. And they take pride in it! People will wear a pair of Dobies until their families must be ashamed to be seen with them, and then send us a picture of the results. They seem to say Look! these damn things may look terrible, but I can still wear them and not get arrested!

Which is all good, don’t get us wrong. Even though the piping is hanging out and the zips have ceased to function, and the pockets can not be trusted, they still do the main job they were bought for. Perhaps they form a bridge to simpler times before the owner had teenage offspring and their iPhone’s running costs.

We marvel at the number of bicycles, cars, and even houses that are exchanged for new ones in a customer’s life while that same pair of shorts gets wheeled out of the laundry for another lap of the woods.

Which brings me to my point: we are not going to make shorts that self-destruct, so if you want to be able to get some more when the ones you have finally dissolve, tell your mates about us!

Two invisible ninjas square off to do battle, both stark naked except for their Dobies. Two invisible ninjas square off to do battle, both stark naked except for their Dobies.