Hi! Sign up for our regular newsletter and get up to date info on new products and special offers.

FILTHINESS IS OUR GOAL

 

201113WPhead






One of the features of living in New Zealand is the weather. It is reliably unstable. When something is coming up on the calendar that would benefit from a being held on a nice day, the last thing we want is sunshine three days out. On a skinny little country in the South Seas the odds of getting the desired conditions shorten dramatically with every perfect day that doesn’t share the date of the outing.Keeping all that in mind, here is the procedure that makes our mountain bike shorts last as long as they generally do: a sample gets made in my size, and I go and test it. It gets washed, dried, measured, inspected. If that works, we do it again. This is repeated for several months. If it is fabric we are testing, we try to subject the item to all the indignities you will think of if we send it out into the world.

We are working on a new thing, and so far so good. I like the way it feels, people out on the trails like the way it looks, GraemeMurray.com wants a pair right now. But we need more testing, and one of the things we need for testing is mud. There is none. Its been mint and dry under the wheels for weeks. I went to the very top of the forest, where not long ago we filmed this in all its water-soaked glory. There were some drying mud patches, and some of them held vestigial slop, but here is the weird thing: even though mud was what I needed, and even though I had climbed for 40 minutes to get to where there might be some, I was unable to willfully plough through it.

A quarter century of avoiding crap has left me hardwired to look for the dry line. I try not to widen the trail by riding around a muddy spot, but my bike seeks higher ground like it’s on autopilot.

Even with the beast doing its best to keep me clean, I managed to get some mud here and there. But not enough, and not in the varieties we really need: thin and watery, thick and sticky, a fine slurry like valve-grinding paste. But hey, it pissed down yesterday at our place and there are thunderstorms forecast for this afternoon. Keep your fingers crossed I get disgustingly dirty today, remember I am going to be knocking off early to go riding as a selfless act of research for your benefit.